The VR Sexperience: TEMU Version

Zow… once a year… I can’t do it more than that, ‘coz it takes too much fucking work. Once a year… I indulge my husband in a virtual reality (VR) blowjob — TEMU version — and I think you should do it for your husband too, if you’re a generous, summer slut wifey.

The fuck does this mean?

Zow… you know that thing where people can now watch porn in VR? There’s even a website where you can connect your virtual reality headset, and it literally gives you a 360-degree VR view of your chosen pornstar in POV style. Amazing, right? Awesome for ultimate pervs.

Now… we don’t have VR headsets. That shit is too fucking expensive. I’d rather spend the same amount on groceries. I know. I’m old. Mom tings.

Because we don’t have VR headsets. What I do… when the stars are aligned for my husband and Mercury is nowhere near retrograde, I’m feeling Zen, tuitions are paid, bills are paid, the kids are happy, the pantries are stocked… I know… Jesus Christ, it takes a fucking lot to get a thirties mother aroused… I give my husband a VR porn experience.

How?

Zow… I take a laptop and a phone… the laptop for him, the phone for me. I choose a POV blowjob video, and I watch it beforehand, just so I know what I’m getting myself into.

I prop the laptop on the bed in full view for him with the lights out. Completely fucking dark like my soul and my areolas… like I’m not even with him in the same room. It’s just him and this porn star. Basically… I want him to feel like he’s just watching porn by himself in the dark.

I set up the same POV blowjob video on both the phone and the laptop—with AirPods/headphones/earphones, whatever you have, which is a crucial, crucial element. He needs to feel like he’s in the video with her. I play them simultaneously and mimic what the porn star does at exactly the same time… at exactly the same fucking time… so it’s like the porn star is the one giving him a blowjob. I knoooooooow. Genius, right? I’m such a fucking genius!

Not gonna lie… it’s fucking exhausting… there was a lot of deep throating… but if it’s for your man… why not? If he’s good to you, eats your punani all the fucking time, loves you despite your attitude, pays for your shit, and loves your kids, then be generous once in a while.

Blowjobs boost a man’s self-esteem. I’ve given too many fucking blowjobs to observe it. After blowjobs they always have this air like… “Fuck… I’m the shit. I’m desirable. I’m handsome.”

Because they see it in porn, right? Hot male porn stars always receive blowjobs from gorgeous porn stars, and it makes them feel wanted… it makes them feel like they can step out into the world and face and do anyfuckingthing and everyfuckingthing. It makes them feel wanted because almost every time… they’re the ones asking for one, and most of the time, it’s a forced, vanilla blowjob, as we roll our eyes like it’s another mundane errand.

Imagine if you do a 360 and don’t even tell him before doing it… you just push him on the bed… set up the laptop and phone… get him fully naked… and get it to work? Biiiitch… just watch his fucking face, because he’d be afraid and aroused at the same time.

Just try it, hoe, see what it does for your husband, see what it does for you, and see what it does for your marriage, and you can even thank me later.

We only have one life, bitch. We’re running out of time as we speak. Zow… tick tock suck his cack. Use his dyick, spend his money, sit on his face, but love him like his testicles taste like popsicles.

Love,

Nikkifikfik